Wednesday, 30 October 2013
samuel's Narritive writing.
One day there was a little girl that was running away from her parents.
her parents were chasing her around to pick up some rubbish so they can through it at her.
she didn’t like the way her act because they always say mean stuff to her.
then the other day she went for a walk at the park and suddenly a huge hand lifted me up
and a black car came zooming towards us the person who lift me up through me in the car and took off.her parents were looking for her they heard something yelling at them that yelling got even louder then they saw the black car ran after it but it was too fast. they decided to call 911
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2 comments:
One thing I love about your narrative story is it as a nice Settings
* My favourite sentence of your story is too fast. they decided to call 911
* One thing I think you could work on next time is putting the right word
* One thing I love about your narrative story is that how you described how the parents were angry
* My favourite sentence of your story is they were yelling even louder
* One thing I think you could work on next time is is adding more figurative language
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